Hollywood Dolls

Born in 1965. Second in a brood of 6. Unmarried but partnered (5 years going on 6). Introspective; always in need of space; searching for goodness in others; wondering why goodness finds difficulty in coming out in this world, in work, in relationships, in love, in family, etc. I yearn to read all the great works of people. I would have loved to travel the world, if only I was free of obligations. The thought of travel is daunting because I know if I leave I would never want to come back to my country. I am idealistic, sometimes too much. I am fearful that a day ends without an accomplishment. I envy the great things that happen in places in the world: the flourish of creativity, the great things created by people. Middle aged and still wondering why we have to pay our taxes, property taxes, insurance, investments, etc. Why does life have so many requisites? My greatest dream is to live away in some quiet place which cannot be touched by the craziness of the world. I love dogs and their simplicity and unconditional loyalty. I love colored skies that show you the wonder of how small we really all are. I do not like imposing, nor do I enjoy impositions. Love and life should never be an imposition. If they are as beautiful as people say they are, why are there too many rules to love and living. Autumn is beautiful, Winter, Summer and Spring; a little baby's laughter. And yet these do not demand too much from us. Only those that man creates imposes. I am a loner and can stand being alone if need be. I am fatalistic and can prepare myself for the eventuality of death. I have lost a father when I was younger and lost his memory with time. I am longing to understand life so I know that when I leave I can embrace what's next after. I do not like children suffering. They should be spared. Much of the world's chaos is brought about by children who had no way of explaining pain and all the stupidity that adults create. I wish to live in Peter Pan's Neverland. I live in my own fairy tales still hoping for happy ever afters. I am tired of the world and all that man dictates for the world to be. I need space, lots of it. I lack sleep and find being awake at night the most beautiful part of 24 hours. Let the whole world sleep, and you awake. Time stops when the world is sleeping. I hate mornings because they summon us to move again with the craziness of the world: the traffic, the meetings, the presentations, the bills to pay. 

Soultalk777. I have always been wary of opening a blog. This being my second attempt and hopefully my last. Choosing a name for ones' blog is like asking yourself: who am I? what am I here for? where is this going to go? Questions which actually others will find silly but which I think set the direction of ones' existence specially when one is 43. Existentialist? Philosophical? Profound? I don't know. I just want a place where I can converse with my mind and if by chance that conversation reaches others, so be it. I am not here to show intellectual capabilities, nor to wow people with words and ideas. I am here because I need conversation; conversation with the soul. My soul. The truth is the world is too claustrophobic with work, the need to achieve, the technology, the lack of privacy, the noise, the chatter, the egos, etc. etc. I never wished and still never wish to be part of those. And yet, because you live, because you need to make a living, because you move around others who have stronger voices, you get sucked in.